This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
