Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
