rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
