Dual....:-)
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
