Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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