I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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