Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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