You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize