I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
