..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
