Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
