Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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