Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
