grandma shit on top of the toilet
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
