if only i could text you this smell
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
