This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
