It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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