I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
