overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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