He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i've created a new STD.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
