do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
whose ass print is on the piano?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
