They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
