Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
