Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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