i think my mom watched the whole time
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
