farters have to be the big spoon...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the day after is always just damage control
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
