After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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