38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
