thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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