im about as happy as oj after his trial
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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