i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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