Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
