Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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