Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
