Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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