i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize