I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
