I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
