Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
