your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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