i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
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