If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
