Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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