My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize