Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
