just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
