I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
