The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
