so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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