Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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