yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
