Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Terrible idea I love it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
