I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
