This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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