That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
