Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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