it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
