Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
