if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
