So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
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