I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
