Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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