You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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