You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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